Cleaning house I think is a great term on describing moving on from something or someone and leaving their memory behind you. Every once in a while you really do have to look around you, realize who or what is bringing you down, and “clean them out of your house.” It may be hard to do, but it really is done for your own good.
In my last emotions blog, I discussed briefly about a friend of mine who after I did everything possible in the world for her, she still decided to shut me out of her life. Her problems really started almost immediately after we became friends. She went from one bad relationship to the next, and they did nothing for her self-confidence. She was extremely dependent on having a guy in her life and it really took over her world. I was there through all the bad times and all the good times with her. She would call me in the middle of the night when something happened with one of her boyfriends and I stayed on the phone with her until she was okay. I could really write pages about all of her issues and everything I’ve been through with her but I’ll get to the point when everything went dramatically down hill for our relationship.
Earlier this year, she was involved with a guy who, at the time, was very serious with. She unfortunately got pregnant and, of course, she was very scared. Like any other young girl finding out she’s pregnant, she went back and forth deciding whether or not she was going to keep the baby. I told her that I would stand by her 100% no matter what she decided to do. After many emotional days of deciding what to do, she decided she was going to keep the baby and she was actually even pretty excited about it. When she told a mutual friend of ours of her decision, our friend was anything but supportive. To quote her, she told her that she was going to turn into “white trash” and that her “dad wouldn’t let her see her anymore.” Of course my friend was devastated and I let her vent to me. (Just for a side note: she is still friends with this girl and not me.) After more hours of deliberation, my friend changed her mind and chose to have an abortion. I also stood by her decision to not keep the baby. This is when things really went down hill. She ended her relationship with the father of her baby and almost immediately started a new one with another guy. I told her to slow down and maybe take a break from guys; she’d been through a lot and needed time. Like I said before, she really depended on guys being in her life so she did not listen to me. She moved way to fast with this new guy and he became very controlling. We stopped talking for a couple months because she was so wrapped up with her new boyfriend. Eventually we started talking again but things were not the same. I couldn’t forget the fact that she ignored me for months but I was willing to put it behind me. Again, we stopped talking in July and haven’t spoken since. I would love to explain why we stopped talking but I’m not even really sure myself why it all ended. What I am sure of is that it had to do with her new boyfriend and his controlling behavior.
If I can take anything out of this failed friendship it’s that I will never let a guy come between me and my friends. My boyfriend was with me through everything that happened with her and he was very supportive. When I’m feeling down about not being friends with her, he’ll remind me why I’m a better person without her. He completely understands that I love being with him, but every once in a while I do need some “girl time.”
Even though I do have my moments sometimes when I feel really depressed about our almost “sister” relationship being gone, I think I am a better person without her. I would blow off things such as school work or other people all because she called me and needed me somewhere. I only dropped everything at the drop of a hat for her because I always thought that she would do the same for me and I was obviously wrong. In the past year, I’ve really realized who my true friends are even though it has been a very tough road.
In class we spoke about the idea of protecting others and I think that was a big issue with me and my friend. I was always so concerned with her and what she was doing with her life because it seemed like everything she did ended in disaster. Sometimes I think I was more concerned with her than she was with herself. Being her best friend, I of course gave her advice but what I had a hard time dealing with was the fact that it was her decision whether or not to take it. Eventually when the problems became more serious and I saw myself getting to be more of a nag than a help, I backed off. I had to realize that she was going to do what she wanted to do and there was nothing I could do about it. It was really hard trying to find a middle ground where I was still being a supportive, advice giving friend and not being a badgering nag.
As in many of my other blogs, I want to incorporate music. I just feel like music is such a great way to express emotions and feelings that you yourself have a difficult time putting into words. The song “If You’re Going Through Hell” by Rodney Atkins applies to not only my situation but I think many other people’s situations. Basically, the song is about how even though you may be going through a hard time, you have to keep your head up and move on. You can’t slow down in your tracks because it is only going to make matters worse. This song always uplifts my spirits when I’m feeling down. To view the lyrics and hear the song, click on the link in the “My Links” section.
Even though “cleaning house” may be one of the hardest tasks you do in life (and may even be harder than actually cleaning your house), it’s most likely going to be one of the most rewarding experiences you have. Our time here is limited so why go along wasting our precious time with people who are bad for our mental and physical health? By getting rid of these people and things, we are able to enjoy life better and spend more time with the people and things we love and who love us back.
In my last emotions blog, I discussed briefly about a friend of mine who after I did everything possible in the world for her, she still decided to shut me out of her life. Her problems really started almost immediately after we became friends. She went from one bad relationship to the next, and they did nothing for her self-confidence. She was extremely dependent on having a guy in her life and it really took over her world. I was there through all the bad times and all the good times with her. She would call me in the middle of the night when something happened with one of her boyfriends and I stayed on the phone with her until she was okay. I could really write pages about all of her issues and everything I’ve been through with her but I’ll get to the point when everything went dramatically down hill for our relationship.
Earlier this year, she was involved with a guy who, at the time, was very serious with. She unfortunately got pregnant and, of course, she was very scared. Like any other young girl finding out she’s pregnant, she went back and forth deciding whether or not she was going to keep the baby. I told her that I would stand by her 100% no matter what she decided to do. After many emotional days of deciding what to do, she decided she was going to keep the baby and she was actually even pretty excited about it. When she told a mutual friend of ours of her decision, our friend was anything but supportive. To quote her, she told her that she was going to turn into “white trash” and that her “dad wouldn’t let her see her anymore.” Of course my friend was devastated and I let her vent to me. (Just for a side note: she is still friends with this girl and not me.) After more hours of deliberation, my friend changed her mind and chose to have an abortion. I also stood by her decision to not keep the baby. This is when things really went down hill. She ended her relationship with the father of her baby and almost immediately started a new one with another guy. I told her to slow down and maybe take a break from guys; she’d been through a lot and needed time. Like I said before, she really depended on guys being in her life so she did not listen to me. She moved way to fast with this new guy and he became very controlling. We stopped talking for a couple months because she was so wrapped up with her new boyfriend. Eventually we started talking again but things were not the same. I couldn’t forget the fact that she ignored me for months but I was willing to put it behind me. Again, we stopped talking in July and haven’t spoken since. I would love to explain why we stopped talking but I’m not even really sure myself why it all ended. What I am sure of is that it had to do with her new boyfriend and his controlling behavior.
If I can take anything out of this failed friendship it’s that I will never let a guy come between me and my friends. My boyfriend was with me through everything that happened with her and he was very supportive. When I’m feeling down about not being friends with her, he’ll remind me why I’m a better person without her. He completely understands that I love being with him, but every once in a while I do need some “girl time.”
Even though I do have my moments sometimes when I feel really depressed about our almost “sister” relationship being gone, I think I am a better person without her. I would blow off things such as school work or other people all because she called me and needed me somewhere. I only dropped everything at the drop of a hat for her because I always thought that she would do the same for me and I was obviously wrong. In the past year, I’ve really realized who my true friends are even though it has been a very tough road.
In class we spoke about the idea of protecting others and I think that was a big issue with me and my friend. I was always so concerned with her and what she was doing with her life because it seemed like everything she did ended in disaster. Sometimes I think I was more concerned with her than she was with herself. Being her best friend, I of course gave her advice but what I had a hard time dealing with was the fact that it was her decision whether or not to take it. Eventually when the problems became more serious and I saw myself getting to be more of a nag than a help, I backed off. I had to realize that she was going to do what she wanted to do and there was nothing I could do about it. It was really hard trying to find a middle ground where I was still being a supportive, advice giving friend and not being a badgering nag.
As in many of my other blogs, I want to incorporate music. I just feel like music is such a great way to express emotions and feelings that you yourself have a difficult time putting into words. The song “If You’re Going Through Hell” by Rodney Atkins applies to not only my situation but I think many other people’s situations. Basically, the song is about how even though you may be going through a hard time, you have to keep your head up and move on. You can’t slow down in your tracks because it is only going to make matters worse. This song always uplifts my spirits when I’m feeling down. To view the lyrics and hear the song, click on the link in the “My Links” section.
Even though “cleaning house” may be one of the hardest tasks you do in life (and may even be harder than actually cleaning your house), it’s most likely going to be one of the most rewarding experiences you have. Our time here is limited so why go along wasting our precious time with people who are bad for our mental and physical health? By getting rid of these people and things, we are able to enjoy life better and spend more time with the people and things we love and who love us back.
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