Live.Laugh.Love.

If someone were to ask any of my friends, they would say yes, I am an emotional person. I take almost everything to heart, and sometimes I get too wrapped up in situations and it’s hard for me to let things go. Maybe I care too much about other people, but at least I know that about myself and I can learn to deal with it so I am not the one getting hurt in the end.
In the summer of 2006, right before my birthday, I had one of my best friends tell me that she did not want to be friends with me anymore. To make things worse, it was through a mailed letter. To say the least, I was devastated. We had been friends for six years and that was all going down the drain for reasons that seemed ludicrous to me. All of my other friends obviously comforted me and told me to forget her and she obviously was not a good friend after all. Everything my friends and family were telling me basically went in one ear and out the other. I am not the type of person who can walk out on a six year friendship with my head held high and forget it ever happened. Although I did agree with my friends and family that I obviously did not need someone like her in my life, it was still extremely hard.
Then, in the summer that just passed and almost to the date, I had the same thing happen to me all over again. Another best friend of mine who has had some of her own issues in the past decided she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I had just about gotten over losing one best friend when everything started up again for me. Losing this friend I think hurt me more though because although she had many personal issues in the past, I stood by her when basically everyone else turned their backs on her. I was a shoulder to cry on and I was available day and night, and this is what I get. Of course after this happening twice to me, I start to look at myself. What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? Am I doing something wrong? I could beat myself up about it all I wanted, but what I really had to realize is that I am truly better off without these people. Of my nineteen years in this world, that is truly one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn.
Although being an emotional person has its downfalls, it of course has a positive side too. Because I am an emotional person, I have a big heart and a lot of love to give. I believe that my close friends, boyfriend, and family can see that. When it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve always had a hard time decided how much or how little of myself to give. In the back of my mind, I was always afraid of getting hurt even if there was no reason to worry. The relationship I am in now, I am able to share my feelings, but I honestly do not think I am giving 100 percent of myself to him. In this case, I am not afraid of getting hurt because I know how he feels about me, but I guess my mind is just used to thinking that way and I am having a difficult time allowing my walls to come down completely.
Music can really move me and sometimes even bring me to tears. I remember the first time I heard the song “Alyssa Lies” by Jason Michael Carroll and I honestly did not listen to the words. The next time I heard it on the radio, I listened to exactly what he was saying and it nearly made me cry. The song is about how a little girl is being abused at home and no one at school will speak up and do something about it. She lies to everyone and doesn’t tell anyone someone is hurting her. The little girl eventually dies and then lies with Jesus. I also remember hearing on the radio about how a teacher played the song for students in her class and told them to write down what the song meant to them. After listening to the song, many of the students reported that they were being abused or they knew someone being abused. Many of the children were taken out of the abusive situations. That really touched me that something as simple as a song could touch others so dramatically. I have added a link to the lyrics of the song in the “My Links” section to the right of my blog. The song also plays on the website so you get a chance to hear it too.
I think something almost everyone can relate to is images of 9/11. I know whenever I see a picture of fire coming out of one of the towers, rescuers getting people to safety, or just people running through the streets of New York, it really tugs at my heart. I was fortunate enough to not know anyone personally who was involved in 9/11but it still makes me very emotional. I can’t imagine what all those people went through that day and how the families dealt with losing a loved one so tragically.
I received a 46 on my EQ test which I guess means I am pretty emotional. Obviously I already knew that about myself but the test just kind of confirmed it for me. Right now, I am 19 years old, a sophomore living at college, dating someone and dealing with discovering who my true friends are. I’d be curious to see what my score would be if I was a different age, lived at home, didn’t have a boyfriend and had a different situation with my friends. I think it would be quite different because my emotions are incorporated into all parts of my life and not just one.
One reason it is good to be in touch with your emotions is because your emotions can affect your health. On the familydoctor.org website, they state that there is a "mind/body connection" where "your body responds to how to think, feel, and act." After a very stressful event, you could develop a stomach ulcer or high blood pressure. If you are able to control your emotions and know exactly how you feel, you should be able to keep not only yourself sane, but also keep your body healthy.
Being an emotional person can be good at times and not so good at times. I am at least lucky enough to know this about myself and am able to control my emotions according to the situation by using logical force. Unfortunately, I have not yet perfected this controlling of emotions, but I figure I have some time for that. In the mean time, I can live my life teaching myself what’s worth getting upset over, who’s worth loving, and when it’s time to let go.

Success... What is it?

If someone is asked if they want to be successful when they grow up, of course they are going to say yes; they’d be crazy to say no. But successful can have different meanings to different people. To some it’s measured by the amount of money you have in your bank account and others measure it by how happy they are.
So what about me? How would I measure success? I am definitely a mixture of both. I eventually want to have a family so I am obviously going to need money to support them, but if I’m not also happy, that money means nothing to me. So if that means that I have to sacrifice some money to gain my happiness, then so be it. You only live once; you mind as well be happy during it.
When I meet someone for the first time and I want to see if they are successful or not, I first look at how they are dressed and how they present themselves. Now, when I say I look to see what they are wearing, I don’t mean I look to see if their suit is made by Armani. I look to see if they clothes are neat and appropriate, regardless of how much their outfit costs. I also look to see how they present themselves. I look for how well they speak, their personality, their confidence and their overall appearance. If someone is successful, they are going to want to show it and let everyone know that they are someone. Basically I am saying that first impressions mean a lot, especially in a situation such as an interview. Like Chris Maurer said when she came to speak to our class, first impressions are big and they are kind of like our “30 second commercial.”
Obviously to measure success you have to look at someone’s job. The person does not have to be the CEO of a company to be successful. Then again, if someone has been working for the same company for ten years and still has the same position they had when they started there, they may not be so successful. That person is obviously not trying to build themselves up. In reality, not everyone is going to get to the top, but what matters is that they try because if they try, they’re bound to get somewhere and somewhere is better than no where. Success wise, I don’t think it necessarily matters what career choice you make, just as long as you are able to advance in it, make decent money, and be happy.
Success doesn’t always have to do with someone’s job, status, or paycheck. Sometimes success has to do with the people around you like your family and friends. I personally can not see my life in the future without a husband and children so if that did not happen for me, I would feel like I failed in that part of my life. My friends are also extremely important to me so without them, I couldn’t be whole and I couldn’t be successful. To even emphasize more that success doesn’t have to correlate with a job, I have many friends that their moms are stay-at-home moms. They don’t have jobs but I don’t believe that means they are unsuccessful. They are successful in the aspect of devoting their lives to their families and I think that’s awesome. They do this everyday to make the lives of other people in their family, like their husbands, easier.
I know that to be successful in a career, people sometimes have to make sacrifices. Like I said before, I would not sacrifice my family for a career but I also understand that you have to build yourself up in the working world. I do not expect to start out at the top so I know I may have to make a few sacrifices that could interfere with my personal life until I get to where I want to be and where I can make more decisions on my own. Of course, the positive side of this is that the harder I work, the further I will get. Obviously the line has to be drawn somewhere because I cannot sacrifice everything in my personal life just for my career life. There has to be some kind of balance or I will not be happy.
When I see someone doing well, like my room mate for instance, it does make me want to do better. In this way, I do believe success is contagious. I certainly don’t think it is contagious to everyone though. I am the type of person who is hard-working and loves doing well, but everyone is not like me. There are some people in this world that no matter how many people they see succeeding, they still have no motivation to work harder. These are the type of people who are content with who they are, and feel no need to do any better.
I believe my aunt is a great example of someone who is successful. She lives in Sea Isle City, NJ and works side-by-side with the mayor of the town. My aunt and my uncle bought a house there as a weekend home, but they soon fell in love with the town and permanently moved there a couple years later. Obviously she had to quit her job at home in the Philadelphia area and find one there. My aunt is an extremely sociable person and as a result of that, she worked her way into City Hall, and eventually got to where she is today. “I worked my way up fairly quickly, but I really have to contribute that to my ambitious personality and my great people skills,” said my aunt. She told me that the only way I will make it in the world is to “go after what I want and let nothing get in my way.” She also told me that I can’t be scared to approach people and ask questions which I think is great advice because, like I said in my first blog, I am not the most outgoing person.
I think it is really interesting seeing Britney Spears in the news today. She used to be on top of everything and have the world at her finger tips. Recently, her world has been spiraling quickly out of control. She is in the middle of losing custody of her children, her singing career has decreased dramatically, and she is in and out of rehab. This just goes to show you that just because you have made it doesn’t mean that everything can’t be taken away from you in an instance. As you can see, success is a very hard word to define and it is defined differently by different people. I believe that as long as you are happy, surrounded by people you love, and have a decent income that makes your life comfortable