Family Ties

Thanksgiving is a time for feasting, spending time together with loved ones and relaxing. My Thanksgiving this year was a bit small with only me, my mom, my dad, my sister and my aunt and uncle for dinner. It just seemed to work out that everyone else in the family had previous commitments this year. Although it was a small dinner, we still got to spend time together, have engaging conversations and, of course, watch football.
As soon as my aunt and uncle walked in the door, they were greeted with kisses and hugs, including from my two miniature poodles. This is a norm in my family and it would feel strange not to do this. My aunt and uncle do not have any children of their own so when they talk to me, they like to hear about my school life and other activities I’m involved in. My uncle in particular loves to talk to me about school. He loved school and did very well and likes to hear that I’m doing well. My aunt on the other hand is more interested about my boyfriend and what he’s like. Although my uncle is interested about hearing about my boyfriend, he is more interested about his job and his firefighting than anything else. This clearly is just a gender difference with the woman wanting to know more “gossipy” information and the man wanting to know more solid, job information.
Dialogue with my parents and my aunt and uncle seems to be the same every year. My uncle is my mom’s brother so my dad and my uncle don’t really have too much in common. The only thing they share interest in really is sports so thank God for football on Thanksgiving. They go into the family room and watch the game on television and the only conversation I really hear revolves around players, coaches and different plays. Occasionally, I’ll hear my dad bring up something about me or my sister but then they quickly move back to sports.
My mom and aunt spend most of their time in the kitchen on Thanksgiving. This is partially because they are finishing up dinner and partially because women feel more comfortable hanging out in the kitchen than men do. It may be because the kitchen is a more familiar setting for a woman so they prefer spending more time there. In other family gatherings, the men usually socialize in front of the television and the women stay in the kitchen and talk.
Considering Cuber and Harroff’s different marriage styles, the two marriages at my Thanksgiving dinner definitely are vital marriages. My aunt and uncle are both on their way to retirement and have a second house in Maryland they visit weekly. As I mentioned before, they do not have any children together so this allows them to spend more time together than a couple with children would. In Maryland, they have friends that are also couples and they frequently play cards or have dinner with them. On Thanksgiving I noticed my uncle showing a lot of affection towards my aunt. For example, while my aunt was cooking, he would come up behind her and hug her and give her a kiss. He also would put his arm around her while they were standing next to each other.
My parents both have full time jobs so they don’t spend a lot of time together during the day, but they always see each other at night. My mom is usually home by 6:30pm and, depending on my dad’s schedule, he is home between 5:30pm and 9:00pm. Once they are both home, they’ll either talk or if they’re both tired, they’ll just watch television. Even though they have two children, it was very important to both of them that they had equity in their marriage and they both worked. This seems to be particularly normal with “less than 17% of current marriages in the United States” having one person making all the whole family income. Sunday is the day they really get to spend the most time together because this is the only day they both have off of work. During the summer, they like to watch the Phillies games or sit out back together. Dinners on Sundays mean a lot to my parents because it usually is the only real meal they get to eat together. During the week, my dad usually isn’t home in time for dinner and he isn’t a real big “meal eater” anyway. But on Sundays my mom spends the day in the kitchen cooking a special meal since they eat together so rarely.
The only person I haven’t really mentioned yet is my sister. The only reason I haven’t mentioned her is because she doesn’t really socialize with the family. The only time she did talk with the rest of us was while we were actually sitting down together eating. But before dinner when we were all talking, she was in the other room doing her own thing. My sister is 25 years old but she is extremely immature for her age. One reason she doesn’t like to talk with the family is because she doesn’t like when the conversation is not revolving around her. She thinks that if everyone is not talking about her or listening to her, everyone is ignoring her. She does not understand the concept of a conversation where sometimes you talk and sometimes you listen. Now, I don’t mean to make it sound like my sister is ignorant or rude. She has a minor learning disability that attributes to some of it. The other part of it is because of her immaturity. My sister and I get along for the most part, but it can be very frustrating too. My parents, mostly my dad, tend to “baby” her and then treat me like a regular 19 year old. Don’t get me wrong because I don’t want to be treated the way my dad treats my sister by any means. I’m 19 years old and I know they expect certain things from me, but she’s also 25 years old. The things my dad does for her she is perfectly capable of doing for herself, such as picking up and cleaning her dishes. I feel that she uses her disability to her advantage and, as you can imagine, it can be extremely frustrating. This frustration towards my sister sometimes leads to me letting anger out on her for the wrong reasons. I try my hardest to be the “bigger person” but sometimes I just want to be the little sister again.
As frustrating as my sister is to me, I’m sure she is just as frustrated with me but for different reasons. My sister never went to college or got to experience a real teenage life and sometimes I think her anger towards me is more resentment than actual anger. She’s six years older than I am but she knows I have more responsibility and respect from my parents. For example, she does not drive so I take her back and forth a lot from work when I’m not at school. Clearly there is a complementary communication in our relationship because of the different levels of power. If we’re home alone, I’ll tell her to clean up after herself (which usually ends in some kind of fight), and I know she hates being told what to do by me. But since of our situation, I have to be the responsible one. As hard as it is to deal with her, I can also see how it must be frustrating that her younger sister has so much more power and responsibility than she does.
Although my sister and I don’t really have many religion differences, I can relate to the brother and sister relationship in the case study Straddling Heaven and Earth. At the end of story, John and Susan have a difficult time having a conversation because of John’s new found love for God. My sister and I don’t really have too many conversations because we just find it hard to relate to one another because we are on such different levels. Every once in a while, we’ll have a good conversation but 9 times out of 10, it’s over the internet. I guess we steer from talking too much because it usually turns into some kind of argument. She’s my sister and I love her, but she just makes it very difficult to like her sometimes.
I believe the different relationships in my family are similar to relationships in other families. Then again, all relationships are very unique in their own ways. We may all complain about our families, but they are where we came from and without them, we wouldn’t be who we are today.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Men and women are known to speak and communicate differently and this is probably one of the biggest reasons for couples’ arguments. I know it is in my relationship and many of my friends’ relationships. It can be extremely frustrating when the person you care the most about does not understand you the way you want them to.
My boyfriend and I actually fight about not fighting. He says we don’t ever fight and I say we do. So how can two people who are in the same relationship have such different opinions on the amount they fight? Easy; we just both have different definitions of fighting. I hate fighting with him so I will do anything to keep the conversation as calm as possible but also getting both of our opinions voiced. If I see the conversation escalating too much and it really isn’t an important subject, I’ll drop it after we both have said what we want to say. This way we will just agree to disagree. Apparently, he doesn’t see this as an argument. He thinks of an argument as two people screaming and yelling at each other. I am not one to act this way so in his mind, we don’t fight. After I explained to him where I was coming from, he sees what I mean about our arguments. I think his biggest problem was that in his past relationships, he didn’t have quiet and calm conflict. He had more the screaming and yelling kind of conflict which is what he got used to.
I really like to think our way of fighting is productive conflict. We are always open and honest with each other and rarely raise our voices. I’ve also been with my boyfriend long enough to know the things we don’t see eye to eye on so I avoid bringing those topics up with him. If for some reason they do come up, I don’t make it into an argument. I know from the past that there’s no reason to try and make him see my point because the last time I tried, it didn’t work and we ended up fighting. We also try and not to bother with the “little things.” I see way too many people fight and blow situations out of proportion, and we really try not to do that. I know arguments are healthy in a relationship, but some conflicts can totally be avoided and only put stress on the relationship.
For example, my room mate and her boyfriend fight all the time. They have at least one huge screaming match a week. Since taking this class, I’ve really noticed her language when she talks to him. Most of the time it is, “You did this,” or “You never do this,” or “You’re impossible to talk to.” She uses “you” way too much instead of using “I.” Clearly I am not about to interrupt her while she is yelling at him to tell her to use “I” instead of “you.” Instead, I’ll wait until the argument is over and she’s talking to me about it and then I’ll try and hint to her ways of not fighting with him so much. I try and not to interfere in their relationship too much because their relationship is theirs and not really much of my business. I know I would be a little annoyed if someone was constantly telling me how to talk to my boyfriend. Instead, I just drop a few hints now and then.
After reading the case study “He Says/She Says,” I could relate to Ginger. Throughout their whole first conversation, Luke constantly looks away from her and focuses on everything else except her while they talk. It seems like he doesn’t even glance at her. My boyfriend is actually really good about looking at me while he’s talking or while I’m talking to him. Every once in a while I do catch him looking out the window of the car or at the table next to us at a restaurant. It actually never really bothered me too much. I guess I was just always used to that from men. It was really brought to my attention when we started talking about it in class. With women on the other hand, I am very used to have full eye contact. I always get it with my mom and most of my girlfriends. I would feel uncomfortable if I didn’t get their full attention. With guys though, I’m not offended or insulted if they are not looking directly at me during the entire conversation. I do think I would be offended if I were in Ginger’s place though. Like I said before, it doesn’t seem like Luke looks at her at all and I do need at least some confirmation from a guy that he is listening. I find it really interesting watching my boyfriend interact with one of his best guy friends. Their conversation is usually very competitive and they rarely looked at each other. Instead, they both focus on eating or whatever else they are doing.
Another way I can relate to “He Says/She Says” is when Luke offers his advice at the end of their conversation. My boyfriend will do that a lot even when I don’t ask for it. Sometimes I just want to talk and vent to him and I’m really not anticipating a response from him. Instead of just listening to me, he’ll tell me what he thinks I should do or, if I’m talking about someone, he’ll tell me what he thinks they should do. It can get really frustrating but I have to realize that by him giving me advice, he is not implying that I am incapable of dealing it with myself. He is only trying to help me because he cares about me. For example, one of my friends is dating a guy who is clearly not right for her but they just recently broke up. To everyone’s disappointment, they are slowly starting to see each other again. When I talk to my boyfriend about this, he’ll tell me what he thinks my friend should do. I’m really not looking for an answer for her because her decision in her relationship is ultimately up to her and not anyone else’s, especially not my boyfriend’s. What I really want from him is to listen more about what I’m saying about their dysfunctional relationship. Instead, he feels the need to give advice as opposed to seeing what I’m saying. Like I said before, he isn’t trying to say she is incapable of solving her own problems or that he has all the answers. He just sees the next logical step in the conversation is to give advice.
While I was reading “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” I found it amusing because I totally could picture me and my boyfriend in that situation. When we’re in public, he is always the big talker. He is the one who talks to the waiters and waitresses, the salespeople, and other people we meet. Everyone always comments on my quietness and he’ll follow that up with, “I usually can’t get her to shut up.” We all get a laugh but it’s true. I do initiate most of the conversations we have when we’re alone but when we’re in public I close up. I really can’t even attribute that to my shyness because if I were with a girlfriend, I would talk more. For some reason when I’m with him I allow him to do the talking in public and then when we’re alone, I feel more comfortable and talk a lot more.
In the gender communication quiz, I found number seven to be very interesting. Number seven states that women are more likely than men to disclose intimate personal information. I completely agree with that statement. I also agree that once personal information is disclosed, it can be a turning point in the relationship, whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship. I know in the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, both our walls were up pretty far. Slowly they have come down on both of our sides. I believe those walls came down as a result of information being disclosed. Once one of us would share something intimate, the other would feel comfortable enough to share something too; it became a fast spiral. Once our walls started to drop, there was no turning back. I would definitely say this was a major turning point in our relationship.
I would say out of all the classes I have taken in high school and in college, this is definitely the class that I have learned the most about real life. I can take what we talk about and apply it to my own situations which I think is what learning is all about. Men may be from Mars and women may be from Venus, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t hope for the two to communicate.

Time to Get the Broom and Clean House...

Cleaning house I think is a great term on describing moving on from something or someone and leaving their memory behind you. Every once in a while you really do have to look around you, realize who or what is bringing you down, and “clean them out of your house.” It may be hard to do, but it really is done for your own good.
In my last emotions blog, I discussed briefly about a friend of mine who after I did everything possible in the world for her, she still decided to shut me out of her life. Her problems really started almost immediately after we became friends. She went from one bad relationship to the next, and they did nothing for her self-confidence. She was extremely dependent on having a guy in her life and it really took over her world. I was there through all the bad times and all the good times with her. She would call me in the middle of the night when something happened with one of her boyfriends and I stayed on the phone with her until she was okay. I could really write pages about all of her issues and everything I’ve been through with her but I’ll get to the point when everything went dramatically down hill for our relationship.
Earlier this year, she was involved with a guy who, at the time, was very serious with. She unfortunately got pregnant and, of course, she was very scared. Like any other young girl finding out she’s pregnant, she went back and forth deciding whether or not she was going to keep the baby. I told her that I would stand by her 100% no matter what she decided to do. After many emotional days of deciding what to do, she decided she was going to keep the baby and she was actually even pretty excited about it. When she told a mutual friend of ours of her decision, our friend was anything but supportive. To quote her, she told her that she was going to turn into “white trash” and that her “dad wouldn’t let her see her anymore.” Of course my friend was devastated and I let her vent to me. (Just for a side note: she is still friends with this girl and not me.) After more hours of deliberation, my friend changed her mind and chose to have an abortion. I also stood by her decision to not keep the baby. This is when things really went down hill. She ended her relationship with the father of her baby and almost immediately started a new one with another guy. I told her to slow down and maybe take a break from guys; she’d been through a lot and needed time. Like I said before, she really depended on guys being in her life so she did not listen to me. She moved way to fast with this new guy and he became very controlling. We stopped talking for a couple months because she was so wrapped up with her new boyfriend. Eventually we started talking again but things were not the same. I couldn’t forget the fact that she ignored me for months but I was willing to put it behind me. Again, we stopped talking in July and haven’t spoken since. I would love to explain why we stopped talking but I’m not even really sure myself why it all ended. What I am sure of is that it had to do with her new boyfriend and his controlling behavior.
If I can take anything out of this failed friendship it’s that I will never let a guy come between me and my friends. My boyfriend was with me through everything that happened with her and he was very supportive. When I’m feeling down about not being friends with her, he’ll remind me why I’m a better person without her. He completely understands that I love being with him, but every once in a while I do need some “girl time.”
Even though I do have my moments sometimes when I feel really depressed about our almost “sister” relationship being gone, I think I am a better person without her. I would blow off things such as school work or other people all because she called me and needed me somewhere. I only dropped everything at the drop of a hat for her because I always thought that she would do the same for me and I was obviously wrong. In the past year, I’ve really realized who my true friends are even though it has been a very tough road.
In class we spoke about the idea of protecting others and I think that was a big issue with me and my friend. I was always so concerned with her and what she was doing with her life because it seemed like everything she did ended in disaster. Sometimes I think I was more concerned with her than she was with herself. Being her best friend, I of course gave her advice but what I had a hard time dealing with was the fact that it was her decision whether or not to take it. Eventually when the problems became more serious and I saw myself getting to be more of a nag than a help, I backed off. I had to realize that she was going to do what she wanted to do and there was nothing I could do about it. It was really hard trying to find a middle ground where I was still being a supportive, advice giving friend and not being a badgering nag.
As in many of my other blogs, I want to incorporate music. I just feel like music is such a great way to express emotions and feelings that you yourself have a difficult time putting into words. The song “If You’re Going Through Hell” by Rodney Atkins applies to not only my situation but I think many other people’s situations. Basically, the song is about how even though you may be going through a hard time, you have to keep your head up and move on. You can’t slow down in your tracks because it is only going to make matters worse. This song always uplifts my spirits when I’m feeling down. To view the lyrics and hear the song, click on the link in the “My Links” section.
Even though “cleaning house” may be one of the hardest tasks you do in life (and may even be harder than actually cleaning your house), it’s most likely going to be one of the most rewarding experiences you have. Our time here is limited so why go along wasting our precious time with people who are bad for our mental and physical health? By getting rid of these people and things, we are able to enjoy life better and spend more time with the people and things we love and who love us back.

Live.Laugh.Love.

If someone were to ask any of my friends, they would say yes, I am an emotional person. I take almost everything to heart, and sometimes I get too wrapped up in situations and it’s hard for me to let things go. Maybe I care too much about other people, but at least I know that about myself and I can learn to deal with it so I am not the one getting hurt in the end.
In the summer of 2006, right before my birthday, I had one of my best friends tell me that she did not want to be friends with me anymore. To make things worse, it was through a mailed letter. To say the least, I was devastated. We had been friends for six years and that was all going down the drain for reasons that seemed ludicrous to me. All of my other friends obviously comforted me and told me to forget her and she obviously was not a good friend after all. Everything my friends and family were telling me basically went in one ear and out the other. I am not the type of person who can walk out on a six year friendship with my head held high and forget it ever happened. Although I did agree with my friends and family that I obviously did not need someone like her in my life, it was still extremely hard.
Then, in the summer that just passed and almost to the date, I had the same thing happen to me all over again. Another best friend of mine who has had some of her own issues in the past decided she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I had just about gotten over losing one best friend when everything started up again for me. Losing this friend I think hurt me more though because although she had many personal issues in the past, I stood by her when basically everyone else turned their backs on her. I was a shoulder to cry on and I was available day and night, and this is what I get. Of course after this happening twice to me, I start to look at myself. What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? Am I doing something wrong? I could beat myself up about it all I wanted, but what I really had to realize is that I am truly better off without these people. Of my nineteen years in this world, that is truly one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn.
Although being an emotional person has its downfalls, it of course has a positive side too. Because I am an emotional person, I have a big heart and a lot of love to give. I believe that my close friends, boyfriend, and family can see that. When it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve always had a hard time decided how much or how little of myself to give. In the back of my mind, I was always afraid of getting hurt even if there was no reason to worry. The relationship I am in now, I am able to share my feelings, but I honestly do not think I am giving 100 percent of myself to him. In this case, I am not afraid of getting hurt because I know how he feels about me, but I guess my mind is just used to thinking that way and I am having a difficult time allowing my walls to come down completely.
Music can really move me and sometimes even bring me to tears. I remember the first time I heard the song “Alyssa Lies” by Jason Michael Carroll and I honestly did not listen to the words. The next time I heard it on the radio, I listened to exactly what he was saying and it nearly made me cry. The song is about how a little girl is being abused at home and no one at school will speak up and do something about it. She lies to everyone and doesn’t tell anyone someone is hurting her. The little girl eventually dies and then lies with Jesus. I also remember hearing on the radio about how a teacher played the song for students in her class and told them to write down what the song meant to them. After listening to the song, many of the students reported that they were being abused or they knew someone being abused. Many of the children were taken out of the abusive situations. That really touched me that something as simple as a song could touch others so dramatically. I have added a link to the lyrics of the song in the “My Links” section to the right of my blog. The song also plays on the website so you get a chance to hear it too.
I think something almost everyone can relate to is images of 9/11. I know whenever I see a picture of fire coming out of one of the towers, rescuers getting people to safety, or just people running through the streets of New York, it really tugs at my heart. I was fortunate enough to not know anyone personally who was involved in 9/11but it still makes me very emotional. I can’t imagine what all those people went through that day and how the families dealt with losing a loved one so tragically.
I received a 46 on my EQ test which I guess means I am pretty emotional. Obviously I already knew that about myself but the test just kind of confirmed it for me. Right now, I am 19 years old, a sophomore living at college, dating someone and dealing with discovering who my true friends are. I’d be curious to see what my score would be if I was a different age, lived at home, didn’t have a boyfriend and had a different situation with my friends. I think it would be quite different because my emotions are incorporated into all parts of my life and not just one.
One reason it is good to be in touch with your emotions is because your emotions can affect your health. On the familydoctor.org website, they state that there is a "mind/body connection" where "your body responds to how to think, feel, and act." After a very stressful event, you could develop a stomach ulcer or high blood pressure. If you are able to control your emotions and know exactly how you feel, you should be able to keep not only yourself sane, but also keep your body healthy.
Being an emotional person can be good at times and not so good at times. I am at least lucky enough to know this about myself and am able to control my emotions according to the situation by using logical force. Unfortunately, I have not yet perfected this controlling of emotions, but I figure I have some time for that. In the mean time, I can live my life teaching myself what’s worth getting upset over, who’s worth loving, and when it’s time to let go.

Success... What is it?

If someone is asked if they want to be successful when they grow up, of course they are going to say yes; they’d be crazy to say no. But successful can have different meanings to different people. To some it’s measured by the amount of money you have in your bank account and others measure it by how happy they are.
So what about me? How would I measure success? I am definitely a mixture of both. I eventually want to have a family so I am obviously going to need money to support them, but if I’m not also happy, that money means nothing to me. So if that means that I have to sacrifice some money to gain my happiness, then so be it. You only live once; you mind as well be happy during it.
When I meet someone for the first time and I want to see if they are successful or not, I first look at how they are dressed and how they present themselves. Now, when I say I look to see what they are wearing, I don’t mean I look to see if their suit is made by Armani. I look to see if they clothes are neat and appropriate, regardless of how much their outfit costs. I also look to see how they present themselves. I look for how well they speak, their personality, their confidence and their overall appearance. If someone is successful, they are going to want to show it and let everyone know that they are someone. Basically I am saying that first impressions mean a lot, especially in a situation such as an interview. Like Chris Maurer said when she came to speak to our class, first impressions are big and they are kind of like our “30 second commercial.”
Obviously to measure success you have to look at someone’s job. The person does not have to be the CEO of a company to be successful. Then again, if someone has been working for the same company for ten years and still has the same position they had when they started there, they may not be so successful. That person is obviously not trying to build themselves up. In reality, not everyone is going to get to the top, but what matters is that they try because if they try, they’re bound to get somewhere and somewhere is better than no where. Success wise, I don’t think it necessarily matters what career choice you make, just as long as you are able to advance in it, make decent money, and be happy.
Success doesn’t always have to do with someone’s job, status, or paycheck. Sometimes success has to do with the people around you like your family and friends. I personally can not see my life in the future without a husband and children so if that did not happen for me, I would feel like I failed in that part of my life. My friends are also extremely important to me so without them, I couldn’t be whole and I couldn’t be successful. To even emphasize more that success doesn’t have to correlate with a job, I have many friends that their moms are stay-at-home moms. They don’t have jobs but I don’t believe that means they are unsuccessful. They are successful in the aspect of devoting their lives to their families and I think that’s awesome. They do this everyday to make the lives of other people in their family, like their husbands, easier.
I know that to be successful in a career, people sometimes have to make sacrifices. Like I said before, I would not sacrifice my family for a career but I also understand that you have to build yourself up in the working world. I do not expect to start out at the top so I know I may have to make a few sacrifices that could interfere with my personal life until I get to where I want to be and where I can make more decisions on my own. Of course, the positive side of this is that the harder I work, the further I will get. Obviously the line has to be drawn somewhere because I cannot sacrifice everything in my personal life just for my career life. There has to be some kind of balance or I will not be happy.
When I see someone doing well, like my room mate for instance, it does make me want to do better. In this way, I do believe success is contagious. I certainly don’t think it is contagious to everyone though. I am the type of person who is hard-working and loves doing well, but everyone is not like me. There are some people in this world that no matter how many people they see succeeding, they still have no motivation to work harder. These are the type of people who are content with who they are, and feel no need to do any better.
I believe my aunt is a great example of someone who is successful. She lives in Sea Isle City, NJ and works side-by-side with the mayor of the town. My aunt and my uncle bought a house there as a weekend home, but they soon fell in love with the town and permanently moved there a couple years later. Obviously she had to quit her job at home in the Philadelphia area and find one there. My aunt is an extremely sociable person and as a result of that, she worked her way into City Hall, and eventually got to where she is today. “I worked my way up fairly quickly, but I really have to contribute that to my ambitious personality and my great people skills,” said my aunt. She told me that the only way I will make it in the world is to “go after what I want and let nothing get in my way.” She also told me that I can’t be scared to approach people and ask questions which I think is great advice because, like I said in my first blog, I am not the most outgoing person.
I think it is really interesting seeing Britney Spears in the news today. She used to be on top of everything and have the world at her finger tips. Recently, her world has been spiraling quickly out of control. She is in the middle of losing custody of her children, her singing career has decreased dramatically, and she is in and out of rehab. This just goes to show you that just because you have made it doesn’t mean that everything can’t be taken away from you in an instance. As you can see, success is a very hard word to define and it is defined differently by different people. I believe that as long as you are happy, surrounded by people you love, and have a decent income that makes your life comfortable

The Big Question: Who am I?

Who am I? We’ve all been asked this question numerous times over the years but what would someone else say if they were asked that question about me? My friends would say that I am always there when they need me, can always make them laugh, fun to be around, and easy-going. If my mom was asked this question, she would say I am smart, beautiful, funny, loving and open-hearted. My boyfriend would say that I’m fun to be with, sensitive, there for a shoulder to lean on, and adorable. My professors would say I am respectful, quiet, punctual, and hard working. The big question: what would I say? That’s where it gets tricky. I am a different person depending on the people I’m around. When I’m in a school environment, I tend to be shy, timid, reserved but hard working. In a more social scene with close friends, I’m loud, funny, outgoing, and friendly. Throw me in a group of people I do not know, I close up again. So it truly depends on who I’m around for me to answer the question of “Who am I?”
I am a firm believer that we are meant to cross paths with whoever we meet. These are both good and bad influences in our lives because they both help us grow as a person. There are very few people who go from elementary school to high school with the same exact group of friends and I am one of them. I was lucky enough though to find a couple extraordinary friends early on in life that I still consider some of my closest friends (one from even when we were in diapers!). My group of friends now is more than I could have ever asked for but, of course, I did have to weed out the bad ones to get to where I am today. I was walked all over, taken for granted, and lied to. One of the hardest things in life that I’ve learned is how to let those people in your life go. At the time, it is so hard, but I had to just keep reminding myself that it is for my own good, and these people are only going to bring me down. Life is way too short to waste time on people like that. It feels like that until you’re broken, you don’t know what you’re really made of. I found the song “Stand” by Rascal Flatts very inspirational when I’m going through a really hard time with a friend or some kind of situation.
“’Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand.”
I have to admit, even though I am a teenage girl and most of the mom-daughter relationships I know are spent yelling at each other, I can truly call my mom my best friend. I can tell her anything without her being judgmental and we can go out for the day like two girlfriends and laugh and talk the day away. I noticed that I have many of the same characteristics as my mom and I’m sure that’s because of how much time we spend together. She taught me so much that helped me get through high school and just life in general. My mom taught me how to treat someone and how I should expect to be treated. She’s the best friend a girl can ask for because I know she’ll always be there no matter what.
Over the years, I have watched some of my friends go from one bad relationship to another. I saw how hurt they got and I promised myself never to let a guy hurt me that way. No man is worth that. The guy that I am with now makes me feel amazing. He loves me for who I am and not who he tries to make me. I would never want to say I am lucky for seeing my friends go through what they did, but in a way I am. I was able to see first hand what my friends were too caught up in their relationships to see.
My goal in life is pretty simple; I want to be successful and happy. Successful doing what you ask? I have no idea. My major is multimedia communications so ideally I would want to end up doing something in that field, but I really don’t have one set specific job that my heart is set on. (I said I was easy going, remember?) Money is not a huge priority in my life. Obviously I want to be comfortable when I’m older but I don’t need to be making loads and loads of money to be happy. I’d much rather have a loving husband and children and be financially comfortable than be making tons of money and have no family.
Even though it is kind of cliché, I really do believe that I would not be the person I am today without all of the people in my life. I’ve learned that this is just part of life and I will continue to grow because I am going to continue to meet people. These people are going to shape me to be a better person whether they hurt me or love me. All I have to do is remember to focus on the people who truly care about me and let go of the people who don’t and I should be in okay shape.